First Blog: A Cherry Popping Good Time

Shia is eating Peanut Butter Captain Crunch as we watch a new episode of Real Sex (one of our favorite shows). And OH MY GOD! We know that girl! I used to work at the Pleasure Chest with her (and what a pleasure it was)! And now, I'm watching her masturbate for money in a masturbate-a-thon, sponsored by legendary NYC toy shop, Toys in Babeland. Wow... she is really going at it, in the pure crystal clarity provided only by hdtv. She is giving it her all, while some lady yells directions, telling them "clench your butts"and "don't let go!" New York life is strange. It's truly such a small world. You work with someone one day, and then watch them jerk off on HBOHD a few months later. So what better time to pop my blog virginity then now, with the crunch of my woman's mouth coming down on helpless balls of peanut-buttery goodness. So here's what I have to say... Masturbate! It's good for your mind and body. And if you say you don't know how... figure it out.. it's really not that hard.

Vanessa Lynch

I have to stop with the Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. I just watched a guy eat fruit and whipped cream off of a woman while another woman serviced her butt (courtesy of Real Sex on HBO). Fruit is better for me, I should really be eating that. Those grapes look good. Well, the red ones. Grapes don't feel as cool eating as the crunch. I mean, the Captain is a pirate. Grapes don't have a mascot or symbol...unless you count those raisins that dance in those commercials... but I don't count that. Mutilated fruit doesn't count. Although, after thinking about the complex question of pirates vs. ninjas for a couple days (a question Ness raised to me recently), I have decided that ninjas are cooler. And I think they would win in a fight. I wonder how Captain Crunch would do against Tum Tum. Time for another bowl.

Shia Woods

Fuck that shit!! Pirates own ninjas anytime. There are many reasons for why this is true. Firstly, pirates have beards. Two, pirates have tattoos and piercings. Three, they drink rum all the time, and rum is good, especially from a jug. Four, they do it with mad hos. Five, they have more choices in the outfit department. Ninjas always wear black. Lastly, pirates have swords and a cool accent. Done. The winner is clear.

Vanessa Lynch




First reason why you are wrong: Ninjas are hot. Done. Beards? Since when is that attractive? Second reason why you're wrong: A ninja would kill a pirate before the pirate even knew he/she was on the fucking boat. Third reason why you're wrong: Ninjas are trained by the best. The very best. Pirates are drunks. Cool drunks. Like, I'd-have-a-party-on-their-boat cool drunks, but not dangerous and fierce like ninjas. Fourth reason why you're wrong: Um, swords? Ninjas have swords too. Fifth reason why you're wrong: You don't drink rum. How would you know? Poser.

Shia Woods





Um... Pirates forfeit, due to the fact that their representative has chosen to go smoke pot instead of blogging.... Sike. Pirates WIN!!!!! You know why? Cuz they do it with mad hos. The only true testament to any man's worth. Plus, you my love, are the poser. You know you love the captain's crunch. Did I just own you? I think so.

Vanessa Lynch


Welcome Humans!
A place for whozits and whatnits galore, pop culture month in reviews, gay and lesbian sexy times. With re-caps and product reviews. We have a firm commitment to creating a lesbian run, and lesbian filled blog that discusses more than "lesbian issues" and obscure lesbian homages. A blog for the existing lesbian who is involved in the stuff of life. We all watch tv, we all wash our face. A blog for all.