Jenna the Zombie Slayer

Calling all zombie movie fans. Oh, and calling all porn fans. I think that about covers most of the population. If you don't fit into those two general categories, then this post won't interest you. And you don't interest me, so buh-bye.

My wishes were answered today when Sony Pictures released the trailer for their new upcoming disaster, "Zombie Strippers", starring none other than the flesh eating porn star herself, Jenna Jameson. Unfortunately, I don't think Jenna will be utilizing her famous skills-- this looks like it's supposed to be a 'real' movie. I just hope this isn't her attempt at becoming a legitimate actress. I'm fond of what she does in the 'other film realm'. Although, Jenna killing some zombies sounds pretty hot. Watch the trailer below:

Best line so far?

Chick with gun #1:They're good girls.
Chick with gun #2:They're zombies!
Chick with gun #1:No, they're strippers.
Chick with gun #4: They're zombie strippers!

Ooooooh, snap.


In other porn star news, supposedly Jenna has been strutting her stuff around West Hollywood with a new woman: Aubrey O'Day, who is the lead singer from Danity Kane (see photo below). Not that this is any surprise-- Jenna is an open bisexual. I'm not quite sure what's going on with this new fling though. Come on, Jenna. Doesn't she look a little familiar? That's right, now put down the mirror. I think Jenna should just have a new reality show to find a girlfriend. "A Shot at Love with Jenna Jameson" sounds pretty good. Man, I should really copyright this kind of brilliance.



~Shia Woods

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

So, by pure coincidence I happened get emotionally scarred by a show called Rock the Cradle. I only saw 5 minutes of it. And yes, that was enough time to be traumatized.

If you don't know already. The show is an American Idol style competition where the contestants perform on stage and get the boot according to "America's Votes". The deal with this show is that the contestants are children of not-so-famous musicians like Kenny Loggins and Eddie Money.

To sum it up for ya. Don't waste your time watching the show. But if you're like me and must torture yourself with terribleness at least a little bit, do what I did and just watch them try to belt out notes that their voices weren't built to sing. Watch in awe and horror as they brutally mutilate classic rock songs. You can find the videos on the MTV voting site: ROCK THE CRADLE .

One of the most notable performances is from Chloe Lattanzi.
She is Olivia Newton John's daughter. She is really trying to belt the shit out of INXS' "Never Tear Us Apart". Even if musical talent was passed down from parent to child, she should have realized by now that her old ma' wasn't much of a singer. Not only is Chloe's singing all over the place but she sounds like she has a weird accent . Pay attention to when she sings "I.. I was was thinking". She doesn't have an accent when she talks so what the fuck? Its horrendous all around. Maybe someone can explain to me why she looks nothing like her mother but like a puffed up collagen attacked muppet woman. hmmm...Seriously the KEN LEE lady is better.

The only decent one is A'Keiba Burrell-Hammer Which doesn't surprise me, because most black women can sing. White people gotta watch out cause Syesha Mercado is gonna kill you on Idol. Who else on this season could have pulled off "I Will Always Love You".

-Vanessa Lynch

A Global Warning

So now scientists are basically saying that we're all gonna die.. I hope everyone tries to bind together to stop this from going any further.

This is how we're fucked:

The Terrible Truth

Another point for TEAM PIRATE

yo mah boy jean-paul is gunning for team pirate!
Catherine McNeil as a pirate with a pipe HOLLA!