The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

So, by pure coincidence I happened get emotionally scarred by a show called Rock the Cradle. I only saw 5 minutes of it. And yes, that was enough time to be traumatized.

If you don't know already. The show is an American Idol style competition where the contestants perform on stage and get the boot according to "America's Votes". The deal with this show is that the contestants are children of not-so-famous musicians like Kenny Loggins and Eddie Money.

To sum it up for ya. Don't waste your time watching the show. But if you're like me and must torture yourself with terribleness at least a little bit, do what I did and just watch them try to belt out notes that their voices weren't built to sing. Watch in awe and horror as they brutally mutilate classic rock songs. You can find the videos on the MTV voting site: ROCK THE CRADLE .

One of the most notable performances is from Chloe Lattanzi.
She is Olivia Newton John's daughter. She is really trying to belt the shit out of INXS' "Never Tear Us Apart". Even if musical talent was passed down from parent to child, she should have realized by now that her old ma' wasn't much of a singer. Not only is Chloe's singing all over the place but she sounds like she has a weird accent . Pay attention to when she sings "I.. I was was thinking". She doesn't have an accent when she talks so what the fuck? Its horrendous all around. Maybe someone can explain to me why she looks nothing like her mother but like a puffed up collagen attacked muppet woman. hmmm...Seriously the KEN LEE lady is better.

The only decent one is A'Keiba Burrell-Hammer Which doesn't surprise me, because most black women can sing. White people gotta watch out cause Syesha Mercado is gonna kill you on Idol. Who else on this season could have pulled off "I Will Always Love You".

-Vanessa Lynch